Thoughts are not facts

One of the most important ideas that I hope every client leaves my office with is that Thoughts are NOT Facts. Not everything we think is true, and so it is essential to develop a practice of questioning your thoughts, instead of taking them at their word.

When the mind is not focused on a specific task, it will find something to fill the void, and often it will tend toward negative thinking. Every mind does this, it's how we are built, it's called negativity bias. Negativity bias comes from the days when we were hunter-gatherers, we were hunted by bigger predators so we had to be on the lookout for danger pretty much all the time. This has helped us evolve and stay alive over the millennia, so a certain amount of this type of thinking is obviously helpful, but too much can paint an unrealistically dire picture.

Our thoughts can also be influenced by our moods. For example, if I haven't slept well and then my partner takes too long in the bathroom making me late for work, I can be grumpy and negative for the day. If this happens often, and is left unchecked, a mild sadness can spiral into a depression before long.

Make it a practice to bring your awareness to what is happening inside your mind, and question it. Here are some questions that are helpful:

• What is the evidence for/against this thought?

• Is this thought based on facts or feelings?

• If my good friend was having this thought, what would I say to him/her?

• If I asked a good friend for feedback on this thought, what would he/she say to me?

• Is this thought a habitual one? Do I tend to think this way often?

• How does this thought make me feel?

• How would things be different if I didn't believe this thought?

• Write the thought down twice, first with a full-stop at the end of the sentence, then with a question mark at the end. How do you feel looking at each?