Happy thoughts Happy life

The first time I heard this quote I liked it but I remember thinking "Yeah right, if only it was that simple!" I had real problems that existed out in the world, not just in my mind.

Still, I kept seeing this and other similar quotes - I'm sure you've seen a few on your travels - and each time something about it would grab me. Sometimes it would make me feel angry, I felt it was sneering smugly at me, telling me I was failing at being happy - if only I tried harder then I would be lighter and more joyful. Other times it would arouse curiosity, making me wonder if there was something in it, because a wise man said it after all.

It wasn't until I started practicing mindfulness that I began to feel the truth in this quote. Mindfulness allowed me to develop a little distance from whatever feelings I was having, so I could approach the idea the quote presented and work with it.

Previously, the stress or anger I was feeling was making me judge the idea and dismiss it without even trying it.

The awareness training and calming influence of the mindfulness meditation itself let me put aside my judgments so I could try observing my thoughts and see the quality of them.

Over time, I began to notice that when my thoughts were mean and miserly, the world around me would look that way too. When my thoughts were suspicious or angry or frightened, the world became a reflection of this.

In the moments where I could recognise my state of mind, I would get a little freedom from the judgment, and as a consequence, see the world around me in a new light.

This produces a feedback loop - when the world seems brighter, there is less evidence for the thought, so the mind lightens too - and on and on it goes.

So here's a short exercise to try, it's one of the most helpful exercises in Mindfulness: The Three Step Breathing Space.

Step 1 - Become aware of your inner experience in this moment.

Take a moment to pause and notice what is happening within you right now.

• What thoughts are present in the mind? As best you can, see if you can just observe the thoughts, without getting involved with them or attempting to change them in any way.

• What feelings are present? Acknowledge whatever is there. If it’s unpleasant, see if you can allow it to be there, without pushing it away.

• What sensations are in the body? Quickly scan the body to see what you notice, are there any sensations of tightness or contraction? Tingling? Pressure? Ease? Just observe what is present in this moment.

Step 2 - Focus your attention.

Now, gather and focus your attention as best you can on the sensations in the abdomen as it rises and falls with the breath.

• No need to change the breath in any way, just let it be as you find it.

• Let the breath be an anchor to the present moment.

• Remain here for at least three full breaths. If the mind wanders, gently and kindly bring it back to the breath.

Step 3 - Expand the attention. 

Expand the attention to include the body as a whole.

• Notice posture, pressure points, facial expression.

• Feel the breath in the body, as if the whole body is breathing.

• Once again, allowing whatever you find to be there, not trying to change or fix anything, just being as you are in this moment.

• Gradually begin to widen your attention to sounds in the room, the feeling of the air around you, the sensations of your body in this space.

• Gently wiggle your fingers and toes, open the eyes and rejoin the day.